My inherit shyness came to play at conference...

Woah.

WHAT A WEEK.

So many things happened that I could have only dreamed about. Well, I guess. Not really, they happened!

So. The week away taught me a lot about myself.

I think I've finally settled on the fact that I am shy which to some can be seen at introversion however I am extroverted.

Even though it's completely okay to be anything and a mixture of all things. Labels are what breaks down society into horrible groups which (as we have seen in the media lately) mean nothing but bad things for everyone involved.

So steering away from the label and away from comparisons this information was handy in deciphering a number of my social habits. I love to interact however I hate most people. So take what you will from that. What I took away from my more than various interactions over the past week is that I do not withstand conversation if I cannot take anything from it. Selfish and horrible I know. However I thrive in an environment where I am learning something - or at the very least obtaining new and useful information pertaining to MY life.

I also found out that I would rather listen. I'm not going to add to the conversation if I feel that I have nothing to give and I'm not going to make an effort in showing my approval or not. However I did notice that I will give the person a glimpse of my reaction, however not the raw emotion. Which I guess comes back into the vulnerability speech. I know, I know. But you know what? I'm still learning and I'm trying. As the week went on I found it easier to do around certain people (yes, those certain people). However I still found it difficult.

As the week went on (like summer school) I became less and less shy. I found myself calling out to people, starting the conversation and even joining in with the shenanigans. My normal 'goofy' self came back to play in the final moments of the conference.

Damn. It took that long to open up to my colleagues? No wonder my life is difficult when it comes to personal interactions.

I have known for a long time that this has been an issue of mine, however it took this long? I'm pretty good at hiding my soul, let's put it that way.

Guess what? I learnt something from the whole experience.

If I want to be good at something I have to put myself out there, and to be out there means I will make myself susceptible to criticism. I will be literally ASKING for it. Guess what? I don't care. Bring it on. I believe in myself and what I'm doing. I can take the punches.

Caio.