Ghosts will haunt and fate will come...

I should be pleased, I should be over the moon... but honestly I'm not sure what to do.

Remember when you were in high school? Think back to that moment when you looked at your idol and thought 'I wanna be just like that!'
You thought and you tried and you sometimes might 'ave wanted to hide...but you realised if you worked hard it was really quite something you could set in your sights.
My fifth year out. It really didn't take much! I've achieved my goal and now I'm not sure what to set in my sights.

I had a lady who's followed me all this time come up to me and declare that my style wasn't even mine. To be compared to the mentor whom I'd followed all this time, I'm not sure if I'm happy. I'm not sure if that's kind. A compliment indeed to be known by this quality. To be compared to practically Her Majesty.

I'm not sure if that's something that I'd be all quite fine to call mine, but my God I was pleased when they passed me MY wine.

Of course I'm still proud. Of course I'm still fine. I'm just not sure what to aim for, I'm just not sure what could be mine.

I feel kinda empty knowing I've become, just what I wanted... empty or disappointed... I'm not quite sure which one. So I must set sail to find what must be mine to hold, try and find some sense so I can see when my stars have aligned.

I know this is dramatic when everything seems fine, but you don't know what it's like in my mind.

Peace,

Musochick

A prose for them

I knew that would happen,
I knew what she would say,
All that the work I had done,
I knew it would waste away.

I knew that when the time came,
I knew it would all fall back on me,
I thought that I wouldn't cave, so,
I stood and I said how I meant it to be,

You know what?
You can't force that upon me,
I did what I could with what I had,
I even went above and beyond and you're still mad.

I turned looking all so suddenly,
You said you'd stand up for me!
Even though it was true - you verified my claim,
It wasn't enough when she kept on through.

I consider what you might have done if you were in my situation,
But I know that perspective can't be shared like an address,
There's no way that I could expect you to know what I went through,
When you won't even see that you're basically chilling quite vacant.

You sat there and you dragged my name through the mud
Who are you to know if whether I am a dud?
I'm sorry that you can't see what this was all meant to be,
I'm sorry that even you obviously didn't believe me.

Yet we jest about what was right and what was done,
Honestly how can you not see that I've already won.
Next time I will be older next time I will see through,
All this mist you create, all these things that go askew

When the next time comes around,
Honey it won't even phase me.
I will have moved on to bigger projects,
No longer concerned with your babies.

When the moment arrives you won't even see it,
...

I consider the fact that what I believe might all be wrong.
I might be wrong but we made this piece soar,
It was no mean feat, doing what we had done,
HELL in fact, even I was pushed - and I'm practically the one.

It concerns me so much, that all of this must be the end.
It concerns me that you can't even act like a friend.
I'm not just annoyed or frustrated at your lack of perspective.
I'm practically loathing at your inability to be persuaded.

So next time when I see that something is on the agenda,
Maybe I'll just sit there and just record it.
I don't think it's my duty to respond to each beckon.
I'm sorry that it's come to this, I'm sorry that we're almost done.


Musochick