For What Has Been Lyrics

Next to me, next to you,
Next to us, for all to see,
Next to me, next to you,

Can't you see you've left me dry,
and it seems I've become blind,
Unsure of everyone,

Can't you feel you're in denial,
Forcing thoughts and making time,
What is this all for?

What do you want from me?
What do you want from me?
What do you want?

What do you want from me?
What do you want from me?
What do you want?

Sitting here in silence,
Only kills the vibe I've tried to hide,
Just speak your goddamn mind.

Don't you realise you've just
Pulled the pin and made it done for good,
Don't blame this one on me.

What do you want from me?
What do you want from me?
What do you want?

What do you want from me?
What do you want from me?
What do you want?

You pulled my pride through the mud,
Made me think that I wasn't right,
You did me wrong.

But now I've come to realise,
It wasn't true or even right,
There's more to life I know.

Next to me, next to you,
Next to us, for all to see,
Next to me, next to you,

Next to me, next to you
Next to this, for what has been,
Next to you, next to me.

The sun too shall rise

I intend on writing much more than I will right now about the most humbling experience in my life. However I do need to get down what I have been thinking about life in regards to this new found sunshine.

Let’s call this sunshine M. She’s lovely and she really is a breath of fresh air. However I’m worried that I’m not advancing quickly enough from my previous relationship and that might fire her away. So today I have a break through. I couldn’t care less about my previous relationship and I need to do some self reflection to get something out of the situation. That’s not to say I haven’t done any reflection but I still have so much more to do.

What I do know:

- I’m no longer heartbroken (if I ever was)

- I feel rested

- I know what I don’t want

- I don’t want to be held back for the rest of my years

Let’s get this life time.

It's been an awful long time since I wrote anything on this blog.
I had a relationship, began my career and have had a lot of life experience.

I spent sometime reading back over what I had wrote thinking I was quite literate and I expressed myself quite well for someone who was obviously attempting to cope with something.

So I've found myself finding myself. Looking inwards to find what makes me tick, tock and boom. So I've gone back to the music I use to love, I've gone back to focusing on myself and what I need but it's all hard.

Here I am listening to the recording of a piece that shaped my young adult years. I will sing.

The lyrics haunt me. The changes of time signatures haunt me. She haunts me.

I'm transported back to a time where mercy and trust surrounded my life. Up until this moment I've always had people controlling me and making my decisions for me. This is where I take myself and make my moments.

This is my life.