Goals, Life, Motivation and Q

Why do you deserve it?
What meaning and value will it bring to your life?
What makes you different?

Woah these are three hard questions.

I have been watching youtube motivational videos lately, I'm not quite sure what has got into me. Part of me is after all the self-motivation I can find. I was talking to Q tonight and I realised that I really do need to be the best person that I can be. I need to give the best quality of me that I can give to people.

So. First I need to define my goal. I found it interesting... when Q said that 'when you become famous' - oh this was a great moment. Q told me that I already seem to be prominent in my community so it was practically a given. I then told Q that I don't mind it, but ... it really is lonely being so well known. I don't have much privacy! Haha.

So. What do I want. I don't want fame. I don't want attention. I've got enough of that. I want to become the best teacher I can be. What do I mean? I want to be able to say with conviction that I am doing the right thing for the kids in front of me. I also want to be able to teach teachers how to teach. I want to lecture at universities. I want to travel the world and present at conferences. I want to be that person that they call and say 'hey can you come and conduct at this workshop? Can you give a talk on (blank)? Can you come and teach?' Another aim I have is to be on a certain board. I want to hold positions on committees and have a say in changing things and making decisions. I want to help people. I want to be on the frontline of teaching. I want to know that what I believe in and what I practice works. I want to see results and I want to complete research.

Now for the questions (the first one is meant to have five answers):

Why do you deserve it?

I deserve it because I work hard.
I have goals and I am working towards them.
I know my stuff and if I don't know it I ask/ find out for myself.
I help people: I am a good person.
I am motivated and I have good intentions.

What meaning and value will it bring to your life?

It is my life. I will dedicate my life to it.

What makes you different?

I'm me. If you know me. You'll know I'm different. Very different. IN FACT. I'm me. No one else is me. I can assure you of that.

Hopefully this helps with something for someone. Or at least. It's helped me.

Cheers,

musochick

As the cloud descends...

As the cloud descends

We all tremble in fear

For the one who comes here

Has been always quite near,

As I anticipate the storm

I find he has grown cold

Luckily a man like him

Will never be too old,

And as I pass on from him

I realise the truth

We must never retire,

Not. Until we have changed one youth.

I'll be honest with you guys, I'm horrible at English and anything containing the words 'creative' or 'writing'... however I really wanted to share this. I was cleaning out (well I still am, it's a major expedition!) and I found a book with one page written on, it contained this prose. I wrote it on the 12 Jan 2014. I know exactly what was going on in my life around then, and I know what the inspiration for this was.

At the bottom of the page I wrote in a different colour:

Future [NAME], don't forget to pay it forward! Please, for the sake of who has paid it forward to you.

Happy pondering,

MusoChick 

Why did I become a teacher?

What a difficult question to answer. Why does anyone do anything really?

Woah how profound, why does anyone do anything?(well it wasn't that profound, don't get so concerned)

Teaching. It's the one thing I feel like I'm good at.

I will always have my ability to relate to children and well, teach them something. I've spent the last three weeks away at summer camps trying to learn something from some lecturers and tutors. Most of the people I've encountered have been awe inspiring! Some of them... less than motivating.

Take this one guy for example. We will call him L. He spoke passionately for two sessions about choral music, music education and his beliefs, practices and thoughts surrounding just about everything to do with these topics.

I could only wish to be so:
a) passionate
b) inspiring and;
c) knowledgable

GOSH! The best thing about L is that he doesn't think I'm invisible. I guess that's a plus - haha!

So, why teaching? Is it for an Extraverted Feeling (Fe) or an Introverted Feeling (Fi) result. Well my type: ENFP would tell me that it's in fact going to be close to a Fi just because 'my type says so'. However I've been trying to grasp this concept and one of my good friends who we will call Q is also curious about this 'stuff'. She copied me a conversation which spoke about a prominent figure in history and these people had a discussion on his type of Fe or Fi used. I'm not saying I'm a prominent historical figure however, the article was very useful. (I'm sorry for my lack of control of the English language).

Basically am I fulfilling someone else's dreams or my own. Now that's a horrible meaning to Fe vs Fi however... for me it's the question I'm posed with.

Now, it would be horrible if I said that I was doing teaching to please someone else, because that's the worst reason to do something ever. An equally bad response would be along the lines of the teacher being an educator to fulfil themselves.

So, why teaching?
Ah this is still a really hard question!
Because I had great teachers?
Because I had some crap teachers?
Because I think I can do better?
Because I want to do better?
Because I know I can do better?

Ah, actually I think it's somewhere here that we find the real reason. I know that I can be a good teacher better than some of my crap ones, similar to some of my good ones (however never as good as the best). I am doing teaching because...I want to change lives. I want to share music and I want to know that I've achieved something in my life.

Signing off,

MusoChick

Ramblings

The amount of times I have tried to write blog post in the past month has been stupid.

Why can I not just say what I feel? What I felt? What I experienced or what is happening?

Life suddenly became less complicated in the past two weeks. Here is the reasons why:

• It's been a year since I came out to myself
• I feel like it's okay to just tell people if we are talking about it (sexuality that is)
• I've been house sitting for a week or so and I've come to terms with the idea of living by myself
• I have started thinking of myself as a professional and I know that I'm going to do well at what I apply myself to

Again I'm lost at what to write. This is from yesterday and well I left the tab open and chose not to post it.

I'm sitting here just reflecting on all the learning that I have been fortunate enough to undertake in the last 5 years and I wonder what my life would have been without it.

I think of all the people I've met and the children I have taught. I have so much more to learn... however I'd like to think that I've become a better person in the past few years....

Education Eradication?

There is only one thing in this world that could make me irate to the point of not even bothering to argue the point. Education.

It's annoying, there's this assumption that if you have been doing it for a long time that you will know more than the people that are younger than you... in fact generally in society there is an assumption that age = experience = wisdom = better than you.  Wow, I could not disagree more...maybe people assume that I am bias. I am a young person and maybe I feel that I'm 'better than the rest' - well no actually... I think I have a pretty good idea of who is better than who!

There are plenty of people who think that they will never have to learn, read or sit and exam or complete an assignment once they have finished their undergraduate degrees. This is completely the worst thinking ever! Professional Development in all it's forms is what keeps education rolling. How can we as teachers not believe in life long learning?! - talk about sending our children the wrong message.

There's one more thing that tends to happen in music education.. this notion of 'collecting students' or 'just earning some money on the side' however wanting a career in performance. Teaching is a legitimate career choice - and in fact from my experience teaching is a performance gig. Not just on the stage conducting, but in the classroom modelling, and even in our lives. I'm not sure what other teachers feel... however I feel like my life is on display. It would be pretty poor form of me to go and get drunk and destroy property then be on the six o'clock news...

Like I said, teaching is a legitimate notion...

Maybe I'm living and learning in an imaginary world? Maybe I'm the one to blame with this idea of young teachers being 'responsible' and 'mature' ... however when you think about it, teaching is a pretty important job. You have so much power. So much influence. Teaching could be the best or the worst thing for a child. Personally I think that I will always have something to learn...

Adios.

Fat Shaming - A Journey

So. One of my Facebook friends shared a photo of something to do with fat shaming. I went to share my response, but he removed the photo.

I'm not sure I want to write my opinion here. However here we go.

Disclaimer: x it isn't aimed at you for posting this, I'm rather attempting to state my side of the dialogue.

If you don't want to read it or acknowledge it, stop reading now.

I agree to a point and you know what, regardless of what she looks like she shouldn't have said that as a response - how rude and obscene! (the overweight girl).

However, in her defence...

What if she is going through a stage of making herself healthier? Just because you have seen a snapshot of her doesn't mean you know what her journey. What if she had been A LOT heavier than that prior to this moment.

I think it's stupid how we judge just at the sight of things, I mean obviously this little comic isn't meant to be analysed or thought of in any meaningful way.

It's meant for 'skinny' people or 'healthy people' (regardless if they attempt to be skinny or not) to go 'HAHAH FAT PEOPLE ARE FAT AND SHOULD DIE IN A HOLE.'

Ah also the separate issue of 'dressing for you body type' Yes, I agree...regardless of what you look like or your age, please dress in something that is flattering... You wouldn't see me in a crop top and short shorts.

As a fat person who is trying to make myself better by being healthier the fact that I change my habits for a certain amount of time does not make me instantly healthier.

I am not making an excuse for myself and I am definitely not making an excuse for others. However there's only so much some of us can do at any given time. It would be just as unhealthy to starve myself.

I obviously do not speak for every obese and overweight person ever and yeah I know that I'm not healthy but when I'm done I will be, because I never will be done.

I'm not offended by this comic, rather I think some awareness and thought should be given. I'm not asking for a trigger warning or for someone to tell me that I'm beautiful. I'm not even after someone to tell me I'm fat and I need to get off the couch... What I need is for people to judge me less and worry more about themselves.

A memoir

At the suggestion of a dear friend of mine I brought a leather bound book. I intend to keep notes on my like. I guess it will almost act as a series of writings similar to a memoir. I guess I will never know if anyone will ever be interested in reading it and it really isn't going to be as formal as a published memoir however I do intend to keep a track of what is happening or what I'm up to. Especially if when I travel or have huge life events. I think I will aim on writing a few times a week. I will start today with a small introduction. I may place photos and other objects in the book. I'm looking forward to it :)

Regards