The learning part of the singing occurs in a class that is small and intimate. I know all the members of the class (including the teacher) through past incidents and relationships.
Don't get me wrong, I love it and I feel like I'm learning something! - otherwise, don't get me wrong I wouldn't go back.
However I feel like I am the weakest link. I'm the chain that lets the whole thing down. My piano skills and sense of pitch whilst singing leave a lot to be desired. I'm not even sure why I am considered good by others and complete shit by the rest.
However it brings the notion of which feeling is better. There are times where the feeling worthless thing actually does it for me. Like, let's think about it. This motivation to not be the crappiest anymore might assist me in being better.
The thing is, is that worked in the old days. I use to assume that my crap musicianship or lack of technique in regards to music meant that I was a bad person. Somehow my failures in the music world reflected directly on how trustworthy or honest I was as a person. Gladly I have moved on from those days. I know realise that your musical skills is in no way, shape or form a reflection of your musicianship or sense of musical-ness.
I also learnt that this lack of skill is not a reflection on how you are as a person. However I must admit that this notion of being the weakest link gets me down.
The thought of being the one keeping the class back makes me concerned. The people I complete this class with could be the person saying whether I get the job/ scholarship or interview down the track. I mean that is my motivation for not sucking...
That and I have a role model to work towards...
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